Why not wanting kids is fine

Far too often I get that 'Look' from people when I tell them, kids right now just isn't what me and my wonderful Fiancé want and wont be for a good few years (when if ever?!)

I think these 9 points are pretty on par with our reasons.

Reason 4 is like I wrote it! 
'You want for nothing, not even stinky diapers, near constant tears, or sore nipples. YOU MONSTER. Right now, I have a challenging, creative job, a wonderful fiancé, two insane dogs, a family that I love, and more hobbies than you can shake one of my hand-knit throw blankets at. I love my life and I don't want to change it. '

I sometimes worry that I am missing out on a secret world, of mummies and babies, and I know I am excluded from certain conversations and relationships, because I just don't have a kid. But thats not reason enough for me to start pro-creating.

The one point thats not on here, is of course, I have done parenting, 3 really bloody hard years full of mental health disorders, and horrible complexities, and now thankfully the emotional rewards and to be honest I wouldn't be less likely to have children because of that, its the simple fact that I know the sense of responsibility that comes with having a child to look after, and I want time for me with my lovely guy, two dogs, one cat and terrapin....not the over powering sense of responsibility that comes with a child to love and care for.

Not wanting kids, doesn't mean I don't like children (far from it) or that I don't agree with other people having kids, I just don't agree with me having kids right now.

http://www.cosmopolitan.com/…/n…/a27578/on-not-wanting-kids/

Things to remember when in recovery of depression

Recovery from mental health illness.

I wrote this list last week, when I was feeling overwhelmed by my mental heal illness. I had a lot of positive response to them. So I wish to share them with you, so you are able to use them if you are finding it difficult to just simply gain understanding from those around you when it comes to your recovery.

• Yes I may look fine and happy and healthy, no this not mean I am a strong rock able to deal with everything

• Yes I try and help others through their issues, no this does not mean I am at 100% or anywhere close to that

• Believe it or not I have been through a major breakdown recently, so do not expect me to be a happy go lucky and able to deal with all the emotional crap thrown my way. I am not a duck, the mud sticks it doesn't slide off right now.

• I am a strong person, but I am also emotionally fragile. I am and still will be in recovery for a long while. Just because you might think something should not upset someone doesn't mean the receiver takes it that way.

• Don't be the person who selfishly thinks that because I am a giver I will accept being walked all over. I work with equal relationships.. If you don't, then quietly step away from me, because I don't need that attitude in my life right now.

• I am taking steps to ensure my mental health is not affected in the way it was before, I do not want to be broken again, so please, respect that, respect my recovery or kindly go away.

6 simple things, that I wrote down, that instantly made me feel better. I have been using them as a reminder to myself... as sometimes I feel I am better, then get upset and angry with myself when I have a bad day.. I need to remember to have self compassion with myself, and not be hard on myself, when I know I still have a long way to go to being 'well', and not at risk of relapse. 

My CBT therapist told me that if you have 3 cases of depression, you are 90% more likely to have a relapse. I took this as a challenge.

As a care leaver I went to university, I beat the 93% against me 

When I was in school I achieved 7 GSCE's A-C inc Maths and English, again I beat a massive statistic that was against me

I have never had a criminal record so beat that statistic that says that 61% of 16-18 year olds in custody are females who have been looked after children. 

I had a job within 6 months of graduating from university, and have not been out of work since, working above and beyond minimum wage. 

I am in a stable, healthy relationship, and due to get married 

I am saving for my wedding and a house with my partner 

I have worked so hard to be where I am in life, to be safe, happy, honest, open, stable....

And so far.. its worked out, I have beaten every statistic.. So I will beat this one. 

 Remember when you are in recovery, you have to remember to care for yourself, and embrace the positives in your life..those positives, big or small will save you.