For those who know me, and those who have just stumbled upon my page I would like to share some information and concerns I have that are currently causing me a fair amount of stress and disgruntlement.
I care;
I care for the well being of my friends and family
I care for those less and more fortunate than myself
I care for young people in care and care leavers
I care ALOT about making positive changes to how things work in a whole manner of issues, but I am mainly known for the fact I wish to make, (and will) make positive changes to the outcomes of young people in care and leaving care.
Caring has sadly meant I have left myself open to becoming stressed and upset about certain recent issues...
When I first really started working in the area of looked after children and care leavers I felt so inspired, so happy that I was making a positive difference, amazed that my (care experienced..10 years of personal experiences for those who require that information) voice had meaning behind it and was recognized for this. This continued to grow with my work with my University I attended, and the work I carried out with them and local looked after children. Then my role at Sheffield Hallam University... and now my current role at the Care Leavers Association as the Young Peoples Project Coordinator.
In my most recent role, I have become more involved with working with other organisations who support young people and care leavers and on the whole it has mostly been a great experience (which is saying something considering I am only a month in)
Now I may be being completely nieve and totally off wack, but I presumed that organisations who support this vulnerable cohort would want to work together, would share expertise, would listen and share best practice and wish to learn from different expertise, from different areas and different experiences.. Apparently I was wrong.
Now I love politics, I am an active member of my local political party, I studied International Relations (pretty much international politics) at University and I am always up for a debate on issues... but the politics from certain organisations I have come across so far in my role has been completely and utterly ridiculous. It is not the politics I know and love, it is one of complete opposition using a quite Dictatorship style of communication and actions. 'My way of thinking or the high way'
dic·ta·tor·ship
noun
1.
a country, government, or the form of government in which absolute power is exercised by a dictator.
2.
absolute, imperious, or overbearing power or control.
3.
the office or position held by a dictator.
Which to me seems completely ridiculous considering apparently the main key aim is to support and help make changes for young people in care and care leavers. (I will come back to this)
I fully believe that change is a constant, the world is constantly moving forwards, there are different theories of 'how' the world is moving forwards, but it cannot be argued that time continues on (unless a time machine has been invented and I don't know about it).
In the world of technology, new programs/systems/etc have moved forward at enormous speeds in the last 20 years. Children now have their whole life followed and published online, via Facebook pictures of them when they were mealy a couple of weeks old and not yet born, and following them upwards as they age, for them to one day be tagged in these pictures in their own 'profile' ... Times have changed!
In the world of the care system, things have changed also, not always for the positive (a whole different agenda) but there are laws and support in the area that now exist, that didn't exist 30 years ago, or even 15 years ago or a year ago.
Which is a POSITIVE change and improvement.
Alas there are still issues of the system failing some young people, in the same way they were failed many years ago.. so work still has to be done, and these areas should be published and known about, to be able to make changes. (VAST Knowledge is key)
This is where my first issue lies.... to be able to collect such information, collate and then publish and voice the issues is a big challenge.
Not only is everyone's experience different, and no one person's outcome the same, due to far to many external and internal factors, but also the massive variants in dealing with their experiences. (this doesn't make any young person or care leaver voice less important, but an understanding must be had that, yes you may have experienced things one way, doesn't mean that it can or should be used as a singular example for every issue)
To collect all these experiences in a concise way, with a key aim of WHERE the issues are, and WHERE and WHEN the issues need to be dealt with, requires research, knowledge and the ability to listen and respect each person who voices their experience. (this is not an ability that everyone has, and generally requires not only the knowledge to carry it out, but also the right type of person)
To then publish and voice the issues in a way which is listening to, understood and then used, again requires certain skills and way of communication.
Example:
A child is screaming and shouting and angry because something has happened
Another child is calm and concise about an issue and speaks about something that has happened
Who do you listen to?
Yes, the child who is screaming and shouting is making more noise, but the messages they are trying to communicate are hidden by anger and confusion and the inability to voice their issues in a way which can bring about a easy solution. Attempting to talk to the child does not help as they refuse to listen, as they are too caught up in expressing themselves; loudly. After sometime, you are likely to throw in a towel and wait until the child has calmed down, as you know that they are not listening to you, so how can you listen to them?
The other child who knows what happened, and speaks to you, they may also be upset about the issue, but they are calm enough to speak, then listen to you and take on board what you have to say about the issue.
If the issue is not communicated in a concise way, then misunderstandings, and mistakes can easily happen, and how can an issue be resolved if its not understood?
In relation to issues in the care system, it is the same. The organisations institutions, MPs, PMs, etc etc cannot understand or help with an issue, if its tainted with anger and confusion and the inability to listen to other people voices and input.
Yes you may be a loud voice, but are you communicating right?
I now go back to my issue of certain organisations not communicating in the right manner and in my view using a dictatorship style of communication.
Those who follow my Twitter may have already seen my utter disgust of being blocked by a 'federation' of care leavers, because I did not agree with what they were communicating, or how they were communicating... (I am assuming this is why, as they have not said anything to me, just blocked me)
It was a disagreement on 'experts', who are they are, what can they be experts on. I fully believe that you can be an expert of your own experience because, hey its your life, you SHOULD know it.. (apart of course from those are unable to understand what has happened in their life, through no fault of their own)
One of my first blogs was about the fact that I didn't know myself fully, so how could those around me know me? So I believe even I am not an expert on myself, and those things I do understand, I have learnt using tools such as counselling, given by not someone who was a care leaver, but an expert in the area of helping people understand their issues.
I disagreed with a statement which pretty much said that if you were not a care leaver, you did not have a right to speak, or research in the area - you cannot be an expert, you can only have understanding nothing more.
Yes, they may not have experienced time in care, but it does not mean they can be an expert in the field, by carrying out research and openly gaining the care leaver voice in advice?
The example I used was 'being an alcoholic does not make you an expert on alcoholism' which was replied with
'In fact alcoholics are experts in their own lives: See AA, In fact 12 steps is excellent, saves lives, creates change'
I was unable to respond to this, as I had already been blocked by them on twitter, and only saw the comment which mentioned me, because I could see through a different profile... leaving it look like I have not responded.. which is untrue and a childish tactic.
My response here..
Yes the AA was created by two people who were recovered alcoholics, but the work carried out with the authors to help recover them was by a specialist in the area, who hadn't been an alcoholic but had carried out vast amounts of research in the area, and provided the tools and knowledge to them help create the 12 steps. I am sure if they were alive today they would not quite the researchers in the area of alcoholism because they may not have dealt with the issue of alcoholism personally. 12 steps is also just one tool, which isn't used by every alcoholic, not works for every alcoholic... which is why alcoholism is still an issue today and why research is still carried out.
Bringing it back to the issue of the care system, there are tools and regulations in place to support and care for this cohort, but they do not work or include everyone which is why continued research is required.
This links to my main issue of disgruntlement
How can treating researchers in the area with an air of 'non expertise and personal knowledge in the area' be helpful to the cause? How can silencing myself, and other care leavers (apparently those who they are meant to be helping) because they disagree with a subject helpful?
It altogether gives me the impression of a dictatorship voice; one that silences those who do not agree, even if they are an 'expert' by their definition.
I write this blog as a warning to others;
Through life people will try and stifle your voice, because they either don't agree and so don't wish to know another side, or they just do not care.
Do not fall into the trap that those appearing to 'help' are actually helping, as you may find, that if you voice your disagreement you are silenced, very quickly.
If you are 'silenced' find other ways of communicating...
Final thought...
Maybe it is the stench of irony that irritates me... all through care my voice was not listened to, and now as an adult I am silenced by those who know full well what it is like to have been through this, because they are care leavers and 'experts' in these issues?
I leave it to your own interpretation as to why they have acted in this way. I do however feel a lot better, than when I started writing this blog (success!)
My next blog will be a positive one (pinky promise!)
