I was blogging about attending the Buttle Conference
I was starting to feel settled in my role at Sheffield Hallam University
I was staring to feel more confident about my abilities and myself
I was parenting my younger brother and he was starting his 4 school in 2 years due to us moving after his dad passed away
I had began my path in a work career
What's happened in the past year??
My brother is achieving at school and actually wants to go to his exams (wowza) he's just completed it last exam!
I have moved on from Sheffield Hallam University to the Care Leavers Association
I have gained massive confidence in my work and self
I have had two articles published by the Guardian
I have shared part of my life in Lisa Cherry's book 'The Brightest of Stars'
I have shared my educational journey in the NIACE publication 'Voices'
I met someone I actually want to spend the rest of my life with.. Another big wowza!!
Just a few of my achievements off the top of my head!
It's amazing what a year can do, how support and growth can move you forwards with such speeds. I look back at the first blog I wrote and it sounds like a different person to the one sat writing this one. I know iv changed..and I know it's all for the better.
At the Buttle conference this year it was a lot more user led.. One care leaver used his time to thank those people who had pushed him when he didn't believe in himself - Scott King.
I see myself in him and recognise the overwhelming feeling of gratitude for certain people... The first belief in many years or what seems like the first time ever.
Recognising and accepting help from anyone is a massive deal... And being able to thank those is another big step.
It's a world of unknown.. Am I doing this right? Are these the right people to let help me? Why are they helping me!?! Am I actually worth something?? Where do I go from here? What do I do when I move on? Who will be there then?!?
(These are real questions, questions I believe no child or young person should ever have to ask themselves nor adult for that matter. )
But before I go off on a tangent... I wanted to spend some time thanking a few people who believed in me and pushed me in the last year.
1. Jayne Taylor - wow what a woman... She saw my raw passion and worth and spent a year (of really hard work sometimes ) to cultivate my skills and help me grow my confidence, strength, work skills, presentation skills, writing skills ... And most of all.. The ability to open my heart and break down my hardened walls of 'I don't need anyone' 'I don't want to be close to anyone' 'I don't trust anyone'
She looked after me when life got too much and gave me real advice
She took me to one side when things went wrong.. And didn't criticise me but helped me to see where I has gone wrong and supported me to rebuild trust again
She became a friend that I could rant to about stupid things and serious things
When I got to a point in my role, where I had embedded the LAC project into a rolling project... I had created a lovely database to enable anyone to pick up the project and know where things were and helped to create links within the university to expand the support for care leavers... I had done what the fixed term role was meant to do... To make sure the project would and could carry on - to be sustainable.
It was around Christmas that I was pondering about my job, I still had another half a year on my contract and could have got another job in the university after this or maybe stayed in the same team.. But it would mean moving away from the area of Looked After Children and Care Leavers... And I did not want to do this.. So I spoke to Jayne and she gave me this sigh of relief.. She didn't want me to stay and move away from my passion.. She wanted me to move forward and keep flying and achieving.. Then like magic an email popped into my inbox the next day for a role at the Care Leavers Association... But we will move onto that later
The final thing I would like to thank Jayne for.... mending my broken wings to enabling me to fly ....
Thank you Jayne Taylor .. I will never ever forget you!
I would like to thank Nicola Clarke and the rest of the Sparks family..
Their involvement in my life started more than a year ago and actually enabled me to be in a happy, safe environment that I could actually apply and get the job at Hallam..
What I would like to thank for, is the continued support since they let both me and Oskar live with them for 3 months when I had nowhere to live or go after my relationship broke down.
I have not always seen them as often as I want, but I know they are at the end of an email, a phone call and when shit hits the fan they are there to help things moving again! Without their support this year I would have really struggled!!
Thank you for letting us be a part of your family and have silly antics, play card games till late and wear stick on mushtashs for every special occasion!
Ahh my friends...my friends really are my family I chose! I know a lot of people, but I have limited close friends.. Those who know the depths and darkness and pull me through it all. I don't need to mention names because they know what they know and support me when I need it and that's all that matters.
I want to thank my older brother for moving away from his job and home to help to parent our little brother. We have bossed the hell out of Kinship Care!! It's not always been easy.. And I'm not just talking about arguing about who's turn it is to wash up.. No one has given us a manual for 'how to parent a teenager, when you have no parenting experience and have only just left teenagehood yourself'.. And a lot of the time we have made things up as we go along, but we have agreed on the major things and prevailed even when the world seemed to failing apart around us.
Thank you Arend for supporting me when I needed it and letting me support you when you need it! :)
My baby brother Oskar... The light in my life.. A hard one to tend to sometimes but you truly are. You push me to succeed to make sure you have the best possible life. Yesterday you reached the grand old age of 16.. Oh to be 16.. (Nah not for me!) You Mr O are the strongest, most resilient, funny, intelligent, amazing young man I know. Life just goes up from here my lovely and we are here to support you all the way.. Even if you do make some daft life choices sometimes :p
These are just a few people I am thankful of in my life.. But they are the main players in the last year.
I feel that at no point in life should you forget to thank those who have been there and supported you.. Even if you didn't realise they were.. Don't push them away and decide life is easier without.. Because I can tell you from being on both sides.. It really is not!
Sharing happiness, creates happiness
You cannot give a hug without receiving one (one person I know believe you need at least 5 hugs a day.. Go on try it!)
Thank you also to all that read and share my rambles :)
